If only I'd have the balls to fall in love.

Or, perhaps a lack of is required.



Either way, I wish there were on the spot blogging opportunities, because when I got to see a few of your faces I walked back with such nostalgia in my stomach. I miss you guys! And also because I have all these ideas all the time but when I hit the screen the page is litterally white, and what do I fill that up with? Well certainly not color because I'm just not so sure I'm that creative. I appreciate all of my classes, but I'm just not meeting expectiations.
Expectations, let's talk about those.
It is clear to me my Intro to Fash teacher expects a lot from me, and so does Textiles, and well I wouldn't be to sure about my 20th teacher because we have probably seen each other a total of 3 times and my picture on black board is totally blonde. But whatevar. I appreciate each of them, but I'm just starting to not make the work requirement and all of this has Never happened before. So I might stay up for days, toss my work in a binder (sorry presentation) and walk to class at 8 on the nose. No lies.
 and then you walk back to your room the way you left it last night (slash this morning) and you accidently fall asleep all day. And that my friends is totally what has happened. It takes sacrifices I suppose, sleep, friends, social life I mean, totally not important. It makes me really sad. And like I can't complain because I KNOW I am not the only one doing it. Everyone is working so hard! My heart goes out to all of you and I love you very much and I do not need to hear stories about you crying and wanting to change your major. I've thought about it too...but we have to stick it out I suppose. Give up this life for another...
That silver, maybe currently a grey, lining around those clouds.

I didn't go to the fash buzz meeting tonight. I was going to be working on my 20 pages for Textiles which was due a few hours ago that I totally did not manage to pull off, but we'll see, I currently haven't been devoted to it yet tonight.

I'm officially poor, uninteresting, and wear white socks and comfortable shoes to class like Mr. Rodgers (sorry I know you are dead, I love you!) It is tough.

I feel like this post is totally out of order.
I wish I could just say what I feel like.

Perhaps, that's just it. There isn't any order anymore. My feelings are everywhere. Nor does it help that if you haven't noticed in the past I can develop a quick crush on just about any person on the planet. Stranger or not. There exists such a mix of standards. What a way to hurt your heart.
I'm obv not brave enough to pursue anything. haha I'm saying all this while listening to Sheryfa Luna. I would love to learn French and to purchase a copy of Rosetta stone. I've never heard any personal tales of that actually working. Who knows. But what's better than a night of French pop. My name is so fake. (no it's not it's totally real-- ...I just can't speak french like my mother, and apparently my grandfather perhaps "Etienne" could) A trip to Paris over Winter Break, that would be breath stealing. I would be riding dead on the plane.
Actually I am already dead what am I talking about. My work is not finished and I totally have to get up, go to class, drape a dress that is innovative and will make the human figure appear differently, I wanted to go to 12 oclock church because I can't even do that anymore, Dye fabrics in pepe, come back to the meeting, hopefully my paper is done and I can go home and post on black board, and write up the paper proposal I totally did not turn into 20th c. today. School rules my life. (And yes this is the part where I say, yes as it should, you should love it because it's what you apparently "want to do") Yes girl Yes. Talk about Rambling. Fab word of the day. PS totes embarrassing when Denis asked my what my fabrics were and I had no idea. But I honestly had NO IDEA. That's why I need this class...

I am totally into these bamboo bed sheets. They aren't just "luxury" priced any more. They selling them at Target. At a luxuryish price of course. I'm not going to run out and get them and change my bed sheets...but I think that is just a way cute idea. Apparently there are some theories of bamboo being antibacterial. But those are just claims. And the second piece of way cool information I want to share is
DID YOU KNOW: the term "Spandex" is derived from switching around the letters in the word "Expands"? How cool is that? And I think that everywhere else in the world it is referred to as "Elastine" but I could be making that part up...or not. America is always being difficult. Not only do I need to learn some fast french, but I need to learn the metric system. WHY WORLD WHY. they need to start teaching kindergartners the metric system. Get them while they're young! Pump some french and Metric into them.
Lol , I'm looking at the pictures in this post and they're making this all look really doubty. I'm sorry.
Anyway believe in yourself, because you should know I believe in you and your capabilities and your creativity and your ability to find love for yourself. And I know we will all pull through. You'll be amazed. Just as I have been amazed that all my other projects have been turned in. There has been a complete moment every single time how I just didn't know how it was going to get turned in. But don't fret so much. Don't take it so seriously. Funny how as I'm writing this my stomach is rumbling like what are you talking about, total lies. But you have to speak confidence in your life. It can exist if you want it to. Trick yourself for a little while. This isn't trick yourself for a bad thing, trick it for a positive out come, surprise yourself and live with out the mask. I hope I get my homework done tonight. I know it's ten o clock and I don't have a history of working very well on my bed. But try your best. Tell me how everything is going. And as I always say, I love seeing all of your faces. and you inspire me to be a better person. I'm not kidding. I get such positive energy from all of you and I am so lucky to be your friend. Romance isn't exactly on the top of my agenda, and sometimes I wonder how much I'm lying to myself pretending I'm okay, but I do have homework to do.

They were feed. He gave them just what they needed. Daily bread.

In the mean time, I have no idea what to label this. Hopefully I don't fall asleep! And hopefully my work gets done. Pray for me, praying for you. Slash meditating, sending positive vibes, loving the universe, you know. Just want to make sure I can relate...

All my love