Dwell Here

10:55 PM Michael 0 Comments

 As usual when I am here, I just feel really reflective tonight. 

Over the past few...months really.. all I've wanted was a place to call my own. A place to call home. To me that's somewhere that recharges the batteries. -Acts as a sanctuary. A place where your heart feels full. And while maybe not just that is in my hands, I am trying to learn to embrace the journey and be grateful for the things I have. Easier said than done! Sometimes I am moping around for days thinking about it. But somehow we are getting through it - and that's not nothing. 


1:57 PM Michael 0 Comments

I look way too hard to be validated by others, when all the validation I need should be done by me.

Perfect for right now

12:07 AM Michael 0 Comments

It's the end of a trip. I come through the door, turn on the soft yellow kitchen light. The cupboards are dark, sleek, modern. Put down my keys on the granite and walk towards the living room. I can see the flickering lights of the city just across the water. And I feel calm. I think this is important. I feel calm standing there in the room. The roomba whirls across the hard floors. I take off my uniform on the way to the bathroom. The cool light of the mirror takes all the tiredness away. Magnifies my life - and makes the room feel so big. A sanctuary. I love a sanctuary. My little place in the world to restore. It feels so selfish to write that. An apartment filled with all the things I love - all the things that have given me energy and comfort in my adult life. Why do things have that effect on us? And why do we always want more things. But this night I feel content. I feel enough. I feel like I have enough. I feel blessed. Is it wrong to imagine these things. To want things? I'm not especially hungry tonight. But there are some photos. So I take them to the couch, me in that big space. Tuck my feet underneath me view these printed relics one by one and remember. My friends, my acquaintances, they are all a triumph. In a world where we can't really operate alone. They give me life. In this night I think of good things, so many good things. And I feel okay. And I believe that is important.