I wish I were half as good at fashion sketching as Sarah Lee.

you wouldn't even believe what she can do now. She is so sweet. She takes THE hardest classes. and is good at ALL of them and I know she doesn't think so, so I honestly encourage her because I am awed by her talent. She is such a sweet friend. She is taking Apparel 2, Fashion Sketching, and Handbags one. Next quarter she is thinking of taking Handbags2, Advanced Sketching, and App 3. CRAZY!!!!!!!! lol I haven't gotten anything higher than a C in fashion Sketching. ..So I went to see Lara yesterday. Confession: I really like Prof Wolf. I think she's pretty awesome. That music taste... man. I'm glad she grades me so hard... if I think I'm ok at something, nope it could be better! I deserve to be drilled. I shoot for B's in my classes now... I have a B in 3D. I have no idea how kids get all A's here. Like Sarah. sigh. Maybe I should say outloud I'm shooting for all A's, but I've said that a few times and got shocked when my grades got back to me. hmm. Sorry I talk about grades all the time. I'm seriously considering taking a harder quarter next term. I was originally thinking Apparel, History of Fashion, and something else. but now I kind of want a Apparel / Advanced sketching combo. But I don't know. I didn't take a combo this time because i wanted to focus on sketching, considering it isn't my strong suit..... I hope everything works out. I'm not sure if I am lazy or what. I don't seem to be getting proper results. I havent' heard back from Neil, nor have I seen Carmela.. School's a tough place. Imagine the real world... I can't believe it's raining, and cold. Oh PS I totally tried a new mask yesterday: a tumeric mask. let me tell you, 5 freaking stars. leave it on for 30 minutes. Wash off, tada. Results already. Of course it will take sometime for me. I think I should upload some more masks lol. They're so fun!

I submitted a sketch to Brides.com for "Operation Dream Dress". I pray they like it. I am afraid the scan quality did not end up superb. Pray for me! Hopefully I get a positive message back. If I do I get to make the dress and compete against a few other designers. We will see won't we. I hope to get married someday. Actually, I probably have that thought way to many times in a day. Pathetic I know. Hm I'll confess I have about, emm maybe 3 crushes right now, and I am trying to erase them all. I have too much school work. And I am NOT that exciting. I get called a girl A LOT of times during the day and usually I just let it slide. But today for whatever reason when the guy at fedex told the woman he would help her after he helped "HER first" and then tried to play it off with "he, sorry" AS IF THAT WORKS, it just made it awkward for the both of us even if I assured him it was ok. I don't understand. I always wear MALE CLOTHING. I am not in drag, I was wearing a dress shirt and a dress tie and slacks. I was pretty male looking? But I get called "miss" everywhere. I am all for going androdge but it was a little depressing today. I don't know. Gosh, the person I like the most probably has no idea because I am such a jerk slash naturally act like they're invisible. Which I am only doing of course because I am nervous and awk to the bone. I think i've kind of designed this world where I am used to being on my own. I'm most likely to self-fish by now to be able to share anything with anyone. But ya whatev. There won't be any acting. I have to get better at sketching. I HATE 3D BY THE WAY. It's not hard but I THINK ITS SUCH A WASTE OF TIME OMGOSH. UGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHG. lol. I haven't even started either of the projects we are doing. yes, we are doing 2 at the same time. 3D makes me hate art. Not to be rude just ignorant, I don't understand where doing ceramics will take you as an artist and not a designer for target. Do you plan on working on commissions for the rest of your life and then working at scad part time?? but DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY lol. I don't understand. Passions. geez. I just want to live in Korea so bad. Good music, fantastic television, movies, food, fashion, toilets, everything. Let's find a way to be happy for now, with right now. right now. right now. I pray for wisdom and patience. Help me be patient.

xx